The Nine Desires That Drive 99% Of Behavior
We were 35 minutes into a 40-minute research call when Sophie got to the golden nugget, “It’s just one tiny thing that makes me feel like I have a little more control over my life. I didn’t choose this disease. At least, now I don’t feel like a grandma.”
I was doing research for a fashion-forward compression sock company whose sales had plateaued. They didn’t know how to reach a bigger market and they called me for help. Suzanne was one of the customers I interviewed to understand how we could change the company’s positioning and trajectory.
In each interview, my goal is to find out what's motivating customers. What's making them want to switch from one product or path to another? My job is to not only find what makes them switch, its to help make it happen intentionally.
Social And Emotional Motivators Are Deeper
One research method I use (Jobs To Be Done) provides a framework for understanding the types of “jobs” or motivators that people hire products to do:
Functional jobs: define the tasks people seek to accomplish.
Emotional jobs: explain the way people want to feel in a given circumstance.
Social jobs: clarify how people want to be perceived by others.
Functional jobs are the easiest to identify. If you ask people why they bought something or did something, functional jobs are the ones they usually respond with. When the compression sock company asked our interviewee Sophie why she bought their compression socks, she said they made her legs feel better. When I asked Sophie why she bought their compression socks in an in-depth interview, she shared with me a story about the deep desire to have more control over a debilitating disease, and look cute in the process.
After speaking to hundreds of people about everything ranging from compression socks to multiple thousand dollar courses, and everything in between — I’ve found two things to be true:
Most people have no idea the real reason why they do what they do. (And if you ask them, they often make up a story disconnected from their actual behavior.)
There are nine deep desires that are social and emotional actually motivating their behavior. (And most people aren’t aware of these either.)
If you’re creating or selling a product, knowing these nine deeper emotional and social desires can help you improve the value of your product or marketing.
If you’re a human who buys and tries things, knowing these nine desires can help you identify which desires you’re actually trying to fulfill by purchasing a product. When you know them, you can evaluate more clearly if it will help you get there and give you the option to address these desires more directly if not.
The Nine Deep Desires
Control: I want as many options as possible and to be in control of more choices for myself: what I do, when, how, and with who.
Getting “in shape” is something almost everyone I know has wanted or has tried many times throughout their life. I want to be able to run five miles because then I’ll feel confident saying “yes” to ski trips to remote yurts that involve hiking up steep mountains with skis on. Being able to run, is only one tiny functional part of why I want to be “in shape”. I also want it in order to have control over the options I can say yes to, and the things my body can do.
Connection: I want to feel deeply connected to my spouse, kids, family, friends, community, environment, or God.
When I interviewed people about joining a fitness program for older people, longevity came up often. They didn’t just want to be in shape for what it would allow them to do, they want to stay healthy so they could live long enough to watch their grandchildren grow.
Respect: I want people to value me and respect me.
While doing research on a social skills course, I uncovered that one of the most common problems people had with not mastering social skills, is not being listened to. When they weren’t listened to, they weren’t able to get better positions within their company. They didn’t have dreams of being applauded at a TedTalk, they just wanted to be able to say their opinion, and have people take it seriously.
Purpose & Meaning: I want to feel helpful and purposeful in my work and life. I want what I’m doing (and my suffering) to have a bigger meaning.
Any product that promises self-growth or creativity usually connects back to purpose and meaning. But sometimes it’s more nuanced: Like when someone signs up for a marathon after a car accident that left them injured, or when I took up paragliding to overcome a fear of flying.
Status & Influence: I want to be seen as good, important, attractive, and valuable. (Ideally, I’m so good in an area people I value, come to me for things.)
This is the most familiar motivator and the one marketing gets the worst reputation for promoting. But status and influence aren’t always based on vanity, it’s also what motivates us to get certifications, degrees, write books, and start Twitter accounts.
Mastery & Pride: I want to feel like I have achieved mastery over myself, my environment, my conditions, and in relation to challenges. I want to arrive at my death bed without regret of never having arrived at my full potential.
This one comes out often when people are trying to start businesses, master skills like guitar playing, or overcome adversity. Arriving at one’s death bed without the regret of never having tried, compels many of us to buy and try things we think are wild and unattainable, just so we don’t regret never having tried at all.
Authenticity & Honesty: I want to constantly be seen as (and loved for being more of) my authentic, honest, and complete self.
This shows up often in interviews as aesthetic preferences, taste, and style. When someone buys something to support their identity (like cute socks, or a $2,000 leather jacket, it’s often in an attempt to feel authentic to themselves). Giant brands like Levi’s and Rayban have built all of their marketing off of these motivators.
Joy & Ease: I want less emotional, relational, and spiritual pain — and more enjoyment, joy, play, ease, and pleasure.
There’s nuance in joy and ease as an emotional motivator. When I buy a bouquet of flowers, a candle that smells nice, and a cozy blanket, it’s not just that they bring me sensate pleasures, it’s that being able to pursue sensate pleasures makes me feel many of the other motivators on this list. Like connection to my home, pride, and authenticity.
Above All — Hope: I want to believe and invest in things that make me feel like if I do them, or use them, the future has more of everything on this list in store for me.
The one that rules them all is hope. Hope that the next product, the next class, the next job, the next fitness program, will bring more of everything on the list. We’ll trade almost anything we own for hope.
How To Use The Nine Desires
Knowing these nine desires helps my clients create better products to deliver these results, and better marketing strategies to sell them. Just like it did with the compression sock company.
The same day Sophie was diagnosed with POTS (a condition that causes her to faint when she stands) she was told to start wearing compression socks immediately.
In our interview, she told me, “I walked down to the hospital pharmacy and bought the first pair I saw off the shelf. And honestly, I felt ashamed. I remember thinking to myself, I’m only 29. This is something my grandma would wear”.
By the end of our interview, the deep desires had come out — Sophie didn’t have any choice in her medical condition or what it did to her body. She wanted as many options and choices as possible when it came to managing her condition. She was young and wanted to feel attractive so she could date without drawing attention to her condition. And of course, she also wanted to feel more physically comfortable and manage her disease.
Tapping into these deeper desires through marketing and product repositioning sparked the company’s growth. Instead of targeting athletes and selling socks to them to help them perform better and recover faster — they started speaking to customers who stood for long hours like nurses and service industry workers and people like Sophie who had medical conditions.
When I spoke with the founder of the compression sock company a few months ago, I asked how sales were doing. “Great!” She said, smile beaming. “Actually, they’re so good, I’m able to step away from the company, and I’m working on starting my next one”.
Armed with a new lens on the deeper desires that drive customer behavior — she’s confident that her next business will be a success too.
Beyond helping my clients, I see these nine motivators in my own life in decisions and behaviors big and small. Knowing them helps me more clearly evaluate what I’m investing my life energy into and if each choice or purchase will help me get to where I’m trying to go — or if there’s a more direct path.